Secrets Don't Make Friends

And they make my life HARDER.

I'm not talking about "I had really awesomely great sex with so and so, and the shooting range is perfectly acceptable place to pretend there is privacy."  secrets.

I'm talking about my cousin who is a pharmacy tech, not informing me that I should eat BEFORE I take lortabs, not after.

Oh and that they make you more nauseous than the first trimester of any pregnancy.

And I should probably mention that Pinterest will not keep you awake once you take drowsiness causing lortabs.  And you'll wake up with your finger on the down arrow and no more 'down' to go.

And that not getting on a decent 6 hour medicine schedule so that you're not up at 3am, writing a post while waiting for your latest dose of lortab to take effect.

PS- I'm not drunk or high... I'm in pain.  Love me anyways.. There will be better posts soon. Promise. 

Oh Man...

Single mother's favorite  holiday is this weekend. Oh yes it is. Father's Day.

That's right it's the day where you're supposed to honor your child's other 'parent'.   I personally didn't even know it was coming up until they said something about it in the newspaper last week.  I got a shocked OmiGAWD it's already here? Look on my face. But it wasn't and I got a small repreve. But now it is here. It is Sunday and I have no idea what I'll be doing.

Maybe I'll splurge on me and get some nice food for dinner.  Then I'll give the ladies 'pedicures' (as in I paint their toe nails. No calf rubbing here.)  and maybe I'll get around to giving myself that perm... so I'll have some curl to my hair on a regular basis. But we'll see.

Or maybe I'll just veg with some Lifetime Movies and Cheetos Puffs.  Either way I will be celebrating my other parental holiday this weekend.

I'm working on some posts in this crazy brain of mine just give it a chance.

Fun Bags!

Here's a little fun assortment of things that have happened around my house that I haven't written about...

Poppa's first birthday party.Which went off without too much of a hitch. Except for the whole severe thunder storm warnings and tornado watches.  I decided to go with a primary color first birthday party.  And he has loved all of his presents, which is comforting. 

Poppa's first birthday. He wore the traditional home designed tshirt. He went to 'school'. The next day we went to Red Lobster.  And I have a mini break down because I am not mother to both a one year old and an almost three year old. Scary!!

The church Easter Egg Hunt. Both kids looked adorable and got some Easter eggs in their baskets. Cat really gets it now, Poppa just likes the sound the eggs make when he hits them on the ground, or together. 

Easter. Cat looked adorable, and then refused to take a picture with me.  Poppa looked adorable. Period.  

A Torrential amount of rain. I'm considering trading my car in for a boat. We've got like a bajillion centimeters of rain in the last ten days.  And if we didn't get another rain storm for the whole summer I'm almost certain that the crops would still be plentiful.  But I'm not a farmer, so maybe I'm wrong. I probably am. 

 

 

Busy Little Bees

Lately life has been busy. And I've been avoiding the internet (except facebook because apparently I'm addicted).  

But really it's time for me to come back. 

I'm not myself out her in "real life" because I'm missing the connection that's here in my digital world. 

Sometimes I feel all alone here in cyber space but I have the option of pretending me and Brittany Gibbons or Meredith Soleau are bffs because I go read and immediately (most of the time) understand what they're saying.  

And that is what I miss out here in the "real world".   So I'm coming back yall.  

I'm sure not promising to be better than ever at this bloggy thing. But I'm going to start to give it a little more attention. 

I sure hope ya'll can stick around and ride these waves with me while I really figure out what the heck I'm doing here. 

And for your trouble here's a picture of Cat.. checking out the lobster tank at Red Lobster. 

The (Kinda) Date

So I put on my liar pants one day earlier this week.. And I said I was going to post on Friday night, about what happened on Friday night.

So in order to take off my liar pants (which I'm tired of because they keep smoking) I'm going to blog about what happened Friday night instead of my usual SOC with Fadra.

The kids and I loaded up in the Mom-mobile and headed out to our date.  I bought new outfits for both kids and myself  a new shirt.  Not to mention the snacks that I (don't) usually carry around, just in case.

I had total butterflies and nervous nelly attacks, but I gathered all my gumption and just kept on trucking until we got there.

I'm so glad I did because we had a good time. Bmom was awesome and amusing.  She made me feel absolutely at home because she did not have her house looking all spectacular when we got there.  And I can't tell you how much of a relief that is.

She cooked, we ate.  The kids watched some tv (mostly Poppa watched Mickey Mouse).  And we talked.  And we talked.  And we talked some more. And then she invited me/us back out for the Sunday School gathering they're hosting on the 29th.

I don't know if we're going yet.  But I'm definitely thinking about it.

Poppa's Formation

It’s time for you all to know a little more about how I got to be literally Momma Resa.

The shortest story goes something like a dark club, a kid free weekend, a bonus check and lots (and I do mean LOTS) of Redbull and (cheap) vodka.

The longer story includes a guy that I recognized from work, but didn’t know. A cousin who was supposed to be my consciences.  And me going home with the boy I recognized from work.

The longest story, I’m going to spare you all the details and just give you the interesting tidbits.
He was my “uncle’s” nephew (we are NOT blood related, like AT ALL.).  He was on a break from his wife. He has multiple kids by other women, few of which he sees. He is not even that good looking. I had gone almost two years without any booty (nookie, da goods, whatever.) I’d drank way too much, like WAY too much.  I should have listened to my cousin. And I don’t remember much of the night Poppa’s conception.  He said he wanted to be a part of the baby’s life. He lied. I don’t believe in needing a man’s support (because I’m stubborn and independent, but mostly stubborn.) I haven’t heard from him since I found out the sex of Poppa, which happened around Christmas 2009.

I was going to do it all story blog, make it seem was more interesting. I realized this does NOT need to be one of those kinds of posts.  So it’s just the nitty gritty.

PS- I felt the need to let you all know about this, and eventually about how Cat came around. Because when commenting and posting and just all around relating in the world I have this background that influences what I say... So anyway. 

Punkin Patch and Then Some

Over the weekend we went and picked us out some punkins.  

Here be our Lil Family

Now there's just ONE problem with that picture... I'm not sure if you can tell or not, so I'll point it out to you. 

See it?? DO YOU SEE IT??

Its a BIG freaking BLURRY SPOT! And its on my face and my moms face in EVERY PICTURE taken on Saturday.  I called it God's Thumb, because its like someone's finger is just randomly in the way and since its obviously not one of ours.. it must be God's.  Anyhow the rest of the picture is all beautimus and can be sharpened and look good.. but not my face (which of course is the biggest).  My face is all blurry.  I might have thought that it was just my shirt and pale-ness.  But its also in my mom's pictures with BB.  

So Idk what that's all about... 

Mom and I decided it was my Aunt Linda (her oldest sister who passed away a couple years ago) trying to be a part of our experience.

ALSO over the weekend we made cookies.  Now Cat's cookie decorating experience went like this...

Trying to ice her pumpkin cookie with the orange icing. 

Trying to ice her pumpkin cookie AGAIN with the icing.. look at the Focus

And this is the point where she gave up on icing the damn cookies 

and just decided to eat the icing. 

And I don't blame her.  I wanted to give up on icing the DAMN cookies after my 5634908th Cookie!  And so I took a few minutes to make some fun cookies after all of the more serious cookie decorators (my sister & mom {theyre anal retentive about their dessert decor}) left the kitchen...

So the middle picture is actually my sister's cookie stack.  But I liked the picture. So I added it. :)

So enjoy the non-calorie laden pictures of these sugar cookies and royal icing. 

PS- These cookies happened 2 days AFTER I started the new MR Diet.  Poop

PPS- I was still able to loose weight, I think it has something to do with icing about 3 BAJILLION cookies and not wanting to see another one for about 36 hours (probably longer if you're skinnier) 

PPSS- Im not sure what to put here, but I thought it needed something to round it out. 

Week 1 ... and Edit

So here's the update :)

Height: 5ft 5in

Weight: 294.6 lbs
BMI: 49.0
Waist: 52 inches
Bust: 49 inches
Hips: 59 inches
Thigh: 32 inches
Arm: 21.5 inches
Pants Size: 24
Shirt Size: 2X, 22

Here's the deal with the picture... I was lazy and busy and didn't get a frontal picture... but it's a picture from this week that is my whole body... so it meets the requirements.  I'm not sure how the rest of my posts will be.  Probably a random mix of pictures, font/back, right/left profiles... whatever gets taken during that week. 

The Before Post - Week 000

WEEK ZERO
Height: 5ft 5in
Weight: 299 lbs
BMI: 49.75
Waist: 52 inches
Bust: 49 inches
Hips: 59 inches
Thigh: 32 inches
Arm: 21.5 inches
Pants Size: 24
Shirt Size: 2X, 22

The Momma Resa Diet

I’m twenty-three, mother to two, private sitter, gymnastics coach, cook, housekeeper, companion, driver, reader, butt wiper, secretary and almost three hundred pounds.  There are few things I can change in that description, but the one that’s easiest (and most immediate) Is my weight.  There’s no reason for my weight gain, and there’s no reason not to fix it. So I’m going to, dang it.  I’ve come up with a plan.. ..

The Plan::
Using SparkPeople.com as a place to track daily calories consumed and burned.
Zumba at least twice a week.  Gymnastics with Cat once a week. And hopefully 30 minutes of cardio the other two days.
Eating less than 10g of Fat per meal and less than 1,200 calories a day.  Increasing my fiber and water intake.  Also increasing the number of vegetable servings.
((I wont be drastic; doing all of this immediately at one time but over time as I think I can handle it. I plan on failing a few times because I’m human and I truly ENJOY food.  Not to mention, holidays ((hello, pie anyone?)).  But I gotta get healthy some way.  And my babies need me.  I’m the only parent they’ve got.))

The Goal::
135 lbs.
A daily intake of 5 servings of vegetables
 20g - 30g of fiber daily.
To have a BMI in the Normal range. (Approx 22)

So the weekly update posts are basically going to include a new picture, and updated stats.
((PICTURE))
Height:
Weight:
BMI:
Waist:
Bust:
Hips:
Thighs:
Arm:
Pants Size:
Shirt Size:

And any information I may think is relevant for that week’s post.  Such as so and so’s birthday, a splurge, etc.

Monthly I’m going to post an update showing the progress from the beginning of this project. So it would have two sets of the photo and stats template.

((PICTURE))                                        ((PICTURE))
Height:                                        Height:
Weight:                                       Weight:
BMI:                                           BMI:
Waist:                                         Waist:
Hips:                                           Hips:
Bust:                                           Bust:
Thighs:                                        Thighs:
Arm:                                           Arm:
Pants Size:                                  Pants Size:
Shirt Size:                                   Shirt Size:

That way we can all see how good I’m doing.  I sure hope this keeps my butt going.



Let me know if you think I should use the same outfit from beginning to end, or if you think it matters.

I will not be using a sports bra and bike shorts because y’all haven’t done anything to warrant that kind of abuse. And I’m just not sound enough in my self esteem to deal with it.

So we can all breathe a sigh of relief that it will not be awkward to see these posts.

Maybe Weigh In Wednesday's What do we think? Good? GREAT! That'll do.