Sunday, November 14

Hey! Give Me My Emotions Back!

We all have, or had, that one person; the person who makes your heart jump a little, who makes your stomach flip and turn knots.  For some people that person is good for them, and they marry and life is sweet (for the most part).  For some people that person is like a psychopathic drug who makes your heart and head rush, and you go through almost physical withdraws.  I think it's kind of obvious which group I'm in, as I'm still single and writing this post.

And I gave that person the power to almost ruin my weekend.  He texted me on Friday night, and for a little while it was nice. And I laughed and felt good. And then I started thinking.  I don't really know where the thinking pattern started.  But suddenly Saturday morning, I felt like crap. Not like, "oh I'm getting the flu," but more like "I'm not good enough for him to see."

Part of that is because he saw me last when I was at my best. I'd lost about 40 lbs, and had time to get myself dressed and felt good (and incidentally had conceived BB the night before.)   And now I've had BB, and kept all the baby weight, which is about 30-ish lbs, and I've not been dressing very unfrumpy.

And I don't like it. I don't like it one bit.  So I attempted to put it out of my mind, and push forward, and think positive and up lifting thoughts.  Part of the day I did good, part of the day I didn't do so good.  But overall I did okay, because I didn't turn to chocolate or shop myself broke.

It's the small things that make the most difference, and I'm not giving the power of my emotions to someone else, at least not without a fight!

PS- Do ya'll know what it's like? Got any good hints or advice? I can always use tips, hints and ideas!


  1. I love the idea of demanding your emotions back. I'm going to remember that one.

    Celebrate the victory. Don't think about the nagativity you first experienced. Think about how quickly you overcame it and were able to change your typical response pattern. Way to go! I am proud of you and you should be, too.

    I fight this on a regular basis, often with my husband. I've gotten better, but it's taken lots of therapy. I do great for a while. I believe in myself and have lots of energy. I don't care what others think because I'm so happy with who I am. I am more focused on others than myself. And then one day, it's gone. Whoosh! Just gone. Sometimes I get it back easily. Sometimes it's a huge struggle.

    Writing it out helps (Yay for you again!). Reaching out to a friend. Leaving the house without my kids to remember that I am a person independent of them. And sometimes my power songs help. I have three cds of music that I put together just because they are songs I love. Turned up loud while I sing to them -- that brings the sunshine quite often.

    Good luck. I hope it gets better. Keep believing in yourself. I do.

    Until then, I feel ya, Sista.

  2. I totally understand the chocolate and shopping yourself broke. Especially the latter!

    I still don't have figured out, so I'm no help at all! lol

  3. SPANX! Oh, and Adipex. Dude, I hear ya! I had two kids in 3 years as well. It is HELL on the body.

    I bought Spanx that go under my boobs to hold me together. They just give me more confidence. And then I cried to my doctor and he put me on Adipex. That was 22 lbs ago (in 2 months!). I feel way more confident now.

    I want to say that I think you are BEAUTIFUL the way you are. But I also know that when you ask for advice, you may actually want some advice. So I gave you that as well.